What does self-love mean?
Self love – the act of loving yourself and prioritizing your happiness. At least…that’s how I define it.
Self-love is never selfish, in fact it’s vital to love yourself and to treat yourself like the queen you are. With so many amazing blogs out there that share helpful self-love tips, it’s hard to not see how important you are.
In fact, Dee’s blog is one of my absolute favorites. Read her posts about self-care on her blog, Morning Coffee With Dee.
Yes, self-love is important. Yes, self-love is essential when it comes to being in a relationship. And yes, everyone should love themselves because we are all unique, beautiful, and important.
But here’s my situation – although I know my worth, demand respect, and take time to focus on things that help make me happy, there is still an unavoidable doubt that arises when I see myself in the mirror.
I have learned that self-love is mental – some days you feel like a queen in your sweats and your hair in a bun, and other days you can wear heels and a gorgeous dress and still feel like you’re just not enough.
The truth is that even if you have 100 people telling you how beautiful you are, you’re not going to believe it if in your mind that’s not true. If in your head, everyone just says these things to be nice.
Self love is a journey, it has its ups and downs. It truly doesn’t matter what you weigh, or what you look like. True beauty radiates from within and there is nothing more beautiful than someone who see’s their beauty regardless of appearance.
I know how cheesy I sound but …I can’t help it!
Okay, so what’s the point of this blog post then??
So maybe you’re thinking “if you already know these things, what could you possibly be struggling with?” Or something along those lines.
My point is for people to see that I struggle, I have self-doubt, I have days when I don’t love what I see. I have days when all I can see is all the weight I have gained, and the clothes that no longer fit.
Forget what people look like on the outside, you never know what someone could think of themselves on the inside. You know those famous fashion bloggers who you follow on Instagram with thousands of comments telling them how beautiful they are? Yes, they struggle too.
We could argue that modern times are adapting to a more attainable ideal of beauty, and yes while this is an amazing transition, it does not mean that women and men will never have their lows with self-love. Maybe, this is just a part of being human?
We could begin to blame the media, magazines, social media, etc., but the truth is that even the most confident person can have their days of self-doubt. This does not mean you are weak minded and this does not mean you are sensitive.
As a girl, something I heard a lot was “oh, don’t be so sensitive”. Now that I am older I refuse to be told to not feel things. Although I have days when I don’t love what I see in the mirror, I am strong enough that by the end of the day I have remembered who I am. A Queen.
Never let society tell you what feelings are acceptable
Now that we are leaning towards a more open-minded time, full of (hopefully) more acceptance and equality, let’s not neglect the reality. Let’s not distract from the fact that we are not always what people see in our perfectly curated Instagram feeds. Let’s make it okay to not be okay all the time.
Loving yourself does not mean that you can’t have your days of self-doubt. Loving yourself does not require you to fit into societal expectations. Simply remind yourself at the end of the day, that your worth is immeasurable and put on your crown.