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Let’s Talk About Self-Love: My Personal Struggle


What does self-love mean?




Self love – the act of loving yourself and prioritizing your happiness. At least…that’s how I define it.




Self-love is never selfish, in fact it’s vital to love yourself and to treat yourself like the queen you are. With so many amazing blogs out there that share helpful self-love tips, it’s hard to not see how important you are.




In fact, Dee’s blog is one of my absolute favorites. Read her posts about self-care on her blog,  Morning Coffee With Dee.




Yes, self-love is important. Yes, self-love is essential when it comes to being in a relationship. And yes, everyone should love themselves because we are all unique, beautiful, and important.




But here’s my situation – although I know my worth, demand respect, and take time to focus on things that help make me happy, there is still an unavoidable doubt that arises when I see myself in the mirror.




I have learned that self-love is mental – some days you feel like a queen in your sweats and your hair in a bun, and other days you can wear heels and a gorgeous dress and still feel like you’re just not enough.




The truth is that even if you have 100 people telling you how beautiful you are, you’re not going to believe it if in your mind that’s not true. If in your head, everyone just says these things to be nice.




Self love is a journey, it has its ups and downs. It truly doesn’t matter what you weigh, or what you look like. True beauty radiates from within and there is nothing more beautiful than someone who see’s their beauty regardless of appearance.




I know how cheesy I sound but …I can’t help it!




Okay, so what’s the point of this blog post then??




So maybe you’re thinking “if you already know these things, what could you possibly be struggling with?” Or something along those lines.




My point is for people to see that I struggle, I have self-doubt, I have days when I don’t love what I see. I have days when all I can see is all the weight I have gained, and the clothes that no longer fit.




Forget what people look like on the outside, you never know what someone could think of themselves on the inside. You know those famous fashion bloggers who you follow on Instagram with thousands of comments telling them how beautiful they are? Yes, they struggle too.




We could argue that modern times are adapting to a more attainable ideal of beauty, and yes while this is an amazing transition, it does not mean that women and men will never have their lows with self-love. Maybe, this is just a part of being human?




We could begin to blame the media, magazines, social media, etc., but the truth is that even the most confident person can have their days of self-doubt. This does not mean you are weak minded and this does not mean you are sensitive.




As a girl, something I heard a lot was “oh, don’t be so sensitive”.  Now that I am older I refuse to be told to not feel things. Although I have days when I don’t love what I see in the mirror, I am strong enough that by the end of the day I have remembered who I am. A Queen.




Never let society tell you what feelings are acceptable




Now that we are leaning towards a more open-minded time, full of (hopefully) more acceptance and equality, let’s not neglect the reality. Let’s not distract from the fact that we are not always what people see in our perfectly curated Instagram feeds. Let’s make it okay to not be okay all the time.




Loving yourself does not mean that you can’t have your days of self-doubt. Loving yourself does not require you to fit into societal expectations. Simply remind yourself at the end of the day, that your worth is immeasurable and put on your crown.








  1. Amita
    February 23, 2018 / 11:34 pm

    I feel like you were reading my mind in this post, I feel exactly the same way! I too have my low days, even if no one can see it, and have my days of thinking, ‘but society likes it this way’. I feel you girl, self love does take time and has its days. loved this post <3

    • Lily Segui
      February 23, 2018 / 11:51 pm

      This makes me so happy that you could relate to this post ?? Thank you for reading!!

  2. Louise
    February 25, 2018 / 7:00 pm

    Love this!! Beautiful words and we must remember we are queens! X

    • Lily Segui
      February 25, 2018 / 7:03 pm

      Thank youuu, yess we are ?

  3. February 25, 2018 / 7:08 pm

    Such a beautiful post, everyone is so different in so many wonderful ways and we need to start loving ourselves more!xx

    • Lily Segui
      February 25, 2018 / 7:13 pm

      Yes we do while also knowing that’s it’s OK to struggle ?

  4. February 25, 2018 / 7:16 pm

    This is so beautifully honest, and I related. I advocate self care and self love but sometimes it can be harder to employ it. Loved this!
    Jas xx

    • Lily Segui
      February 25, 2018 / 7:20 pm

      So happy you liked this post!!! I 100% agree it can be harder to employ! Thank you ?

  5. February 25, 2018 / 7:16 pm

    I love this post so much as I’m also on a journey to self-love. It really does get hard so days, especially lately for me, but reading your post and seeing others can relate certainly helps!

    • Lily Segui
      February 25, 2018 / 7:21 pm

      It’s definitely a journey and it’s okay to have down days but at the end of the day you’re still a queen ?

  6. February 25, 2018 / 7:38 pm

    Great post! It is very important to look after ourselves, we’re always better with everyone else when we do that.

  7. February 25, 2018 / 8:10 pm

    I’m so happy I found your blog on Twitter! You have such a lovely writing style! I really think self-love is one of the most important things in the world. I’ve had a lot self-growth over the last year. I mean I can honestly say that with confidence every year. The person I was about 3 years ago is completely different than the person I am now. Good luck on your journey love. You are beautiful on the inside and on the out. xxx

    Melina |

    • Lily Segui
      February 26, 2018 / 2:46 am

      That’s so true Melina!! As humans we’re flawed and always growing and learning ?

  8. February 25, 2018 / 8:18 pm

    Well, self love really is a journey! I like to think that I’m getting better at it, but it still is a challenge to love myself sometimes 🙂

  9. February 25, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    You are absolutely right. Even those who love themselves wholeheartedly has days where they don’t feel beautiful or something of that sort. And that is simply okay! Everyday isn’t going to be our best and nothing is wrong with that. I love this post!

    Alexis |

    • Lily Segui
      February 26, 2018 / 2:43 am

      Yayyy I’m so happy you enjoyed this post ☺️ ?

  10. February 25, 2018 / 11:17 pm

    Hi Lily, I just wanted to say this is such a beautiful written blog post and I can really relate to it, it’s really hard now a days to have self love but something we all should be doing more off! Really lovely! Take care, Chantelle xx

    • Lily Segui
      February 26, 2018 / 2:44 am

      So happy you can relate!! Take care ??

  11. March 17, 2018 / 12:40 am

    Very beautiful blog post, easy to relate to, and so honest! I agree that self-love can be difficult to achieve but everybody deserves it, take care!


  12. March 28, 2018 / 3:39 pm

    I know how you feel! I struggle with self love on a regular basis, no matter how many times I tell myself how great, or talented I am. I don’t think it ever goes away, to be honest – we just have to live with it and make sure we treat ourselves with love and respect 🙂

  13. April 18, 2018 / 10:27 am

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